Our bitter sweet end

Hi baobei,

Thank you for the great weekend.

Like I said in previous un-mailed letter, "maybe you will show me this weekend" and you did. I am happy that I went back.

I think we both needed each others understanding and forgiveness. We care about each other so much. I can't imagine how much regret we will have if we never truly understood what happened.

When I think back about this relationship, I want to remember those that were sweet and learn from those that were bitter.

You didn't let me kiss you right before I left, from that I could tell just how hurt you were. I wonder if I will ever feel those warm soft lips of yours. More importantly, I found out why you left, and you found out why I couldn't let go.

When we were listening to my "Letter in Songs", you cried on the WEWE song. We were both in tears and you came into my arms. I think at that moment, we both forgave each other. We knew just how much we treasured this relationship, how much we cherished each other and how confused, hurt and helpless we feel.

You asked me "What happened?" I really don't know… I guess we grew apart. You out grew me in this eight month. Goomie is a great sister, she took care of you. I am glad that she showed you the way to be happy again. I want you to be happy.

I am still sad. I miss you. I love you. I wish there is a time machine that can take us back to when our love was pure. The time when we could be happy just lying in the bed watching food network with me hugging you from behind was enough to make us happy. When I felt like nothing could hurt us. Maybe I'll have that again in the future.

But for now I want to be your friend. Please don't think I can't be your friend just because I say I love you. Best friends love each other right? When you called me tonight after I landed, I almost cried. You have not called me since I got back. I have been waiting for so long. I just want to be in your life, doesn't matter if I am your boyfriend or just a friend.

I have decided that I want you to see this website. There is not much yet. But everything I post on here will be the truth from my heart. Things I want you to know. Things I wish I could say. And I don't want them to be sandwiched between junkmail and mails from your admirers.

You can come visit this site when you don't want to call me but you want to find out how I am doing. I'll translate the Chinese posts in English soon. I'll also post some lyrics on here, lyrics that have a different meaning now.

Hopefully I'll buy a digital camera, so I can put some pictures on here as well.

Thank you again,

Ur Rex.

p.s. You are more beautiful everyday.
p.p.s my eyes are swollen like two red balloons. Thank god it's from crying and not because they are bummed.
p.p.p.s I'll get better at being your friend.